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Single Parents and The Rise of Crime Rates Among Children

The hardest thing to face as a single parent are the intense emotions associated with being both a mother and a father to a child. This is further magnified when the other parent is absent or is deliberately not doing anything to fulfill his part in the caring for the children. More often than not, the single parent's psychological well being bogs down.

Single parents might try to cope with this strain by either trying to compensate by adopting both mom and dad roles, or by scouring the social scene for a partner to help him or her in the rearing of the child. The pressure is definitely high.

However, if truth be told, none of the above will help. If anything, they might even cause you to become more stressed. And when you end up being more stressed than ever, chances are this will reflect and magnify on your child.

If you are a single parent, ask yourself. How does your behavior and general outlook toward life affect your kid? Upon closer scrutiny, you might just find out that your child's constant tantrums and bouts of unexplained anger might just be the result of your continuing negativity. It is for these reasons that you should be careful.

Several studies show that children coming from single-parent households are more susceptible to destructive or rebellious behavior, not just because society imposes the need for a two-parent structure, but also, more often than not, the custodial parent is either too guilty that he or she smothers his child, or too busy to make ends meet to show how much he or she cares.

According to one study, about 90% of the change in crime rates between 1973 and 1995 had been accounted for by children born into single-family setups and those that had been born outside of marriage.

While this is not entirely true for all cases of that cover single parent households, we cannot discount the fact that majority of reports conducted in lieu of single parenthood and crime rates show that they are, indeed, linked.

Children born into two-parent, or 'intact' homes, are also susceptible to committing crime, so it would be impulsive to generalize that all kids under one-parent households are likely to become criminals.

Sure, two-parent settings place some sort of balance to a child's psychological well-being. However, it should also not be discounted that kids who grew up under an unhappy but intact home are also prone to some form of destructive behavior.

If you are a single parent, the best thing you can do to prevent this from happening is to be there for your child. You don't really need to be available 24-7 and spend so much just to show him or her that you care. The mere fact that you make it clear, in the occasions that you can, that your child's well-being is your utmost priority is enough.

Never forget to tell your child that you love him or her. Do away with discussing the negative, especially if it's against the other parent, no matter how distressed you are with him or her.

If you are having trouble reaching out to your kid, particularly if you're realizing this need just now and your child is already a teen, seek counselling. Or have a one on one talk with your child so that both of you will understand each others feelings openly. Honesty is key in a single parent setting. If both parent and child are honest about what they think and feel, the less likely a rebellion would occur.

While you do feel somehow guilty for being a single parent (you may sometimes even think it's your fault that your kid is exhibiting rebellious behavior), you should immediately try to take it out of your system. Guilt will only magnify the ill effects on your child and might even push him or her further into ill behavior.

Simply put, a positive attitude will do wonders. A happy household, whether in a two-parent or single parent setting, is still a happy household. And this is all that is going to matter.

Being a single parent is not easy. It is like doing two jobs in one sitting. Single parenting requires you to be an understanding mother or a tough and a providing father all at the same time. Stress and single parenting, therefore, works together, giving single mom and dad a terrible headache every single  day.

Stress and single parenting are the usual topics in self-help books in parenting. Psychologists believe that raising children and even just a child is a very stressful task that requires ample management of emotional, behavioral and spiritual aspect of a single parent. Without the proper guide from self-help books, counsellors, group therapy, a single parent will deteriorate emotionally due to stress.

So how could you manage stress and single parenting? Psychologists say that in order for a parent to manage both stress and single parenting, he or she should enumerate things that brings him or her the stressors.

The universal stressors in single parenting for a female parent is how she could manage her household while she works her way to earn a living for 8 to 9 hours during the day. Self-help books on how to manage stress and single parenting gives single moms a good advice.

Firstly, if their job requires them to be out of the house in the usual office hours, she could hire a nanny during those times that she is away. But if she wants to have a quality time with her child or children, it would be for the best if she would leave her day job and establish a work from home business or job.

The internet isn't there to merely entertain us. In fact, billions of dollars worth of business deals have been transacted through the internet. Of course, this isn't just on sales transactions -- sales on goods sold such as in Amazon or Ebay -- but also those transactions that pay off a service using Paypal or other online payment mode.

Yes, believe it or don't, many people, single parent or not, who earn a living through the internet not for selling goods but for offering and selling a service.

If you are a fast typist, you can offer typing services through 'telecommuting.' It is a secretarial job that doesn't require a single parent to be 'on-site' or at the place where the office is located.

Some employers, especially those who are always on the go, hire 'virtual assistant' to help them with clerical or typing or secretarial jobs. Employers simply email the typing or research job to their virtual assistant with the instructions on how to do it and when to submit it, and the virtual assistant shall submit to the employer the typing and research job at the time the employer has specified.

The virtual assistant will be paid online via Paypal or Online Checks, every 15th and 30th of the month, or as agreed by both parties.

This way you can manage both stress and single parenting. Even if your two children are howling at each other, you can pacify them while you are waiting for the next job that your virtual boss will give you. Working online or telecommuting is one of the best ways that you can manage stress and single parenting.

As for single dads, the problem that they usually face is how to keep in-tune with his child or children's feelings and emotional needs. This is the most usual cause of stress with a male doing the single parenting.

Of course, unlike a single mom, not all single dads want to work at home. They feel that this is not a very manly job. To psychologists, however, single dads doesn't have that much liberty to think this way.

Single parenting is totally different to regular parenting (a household with a mother and a father). A single parent must adjust to the usual  activities expected of a 'regular' parent. So, a single dad must accept the fact that he can't be just like 'any other dad' and work his bottom from sunrise till night.

A single dad needs to be at the side of his children, like a mother. If he can't accept this fact, he cannot possibly manage stress and single parenting.

Single Parents in College

To date, experts estimate that there are two out of ten college students, regardless of gender, that are single parents by choice or by chance.

The estimate looks not alarming, but the thing is that experts believe and assert that the number of single parents in college are constantly and rapidly rising. With the advent of rising and more popular liberated principles adopted by the modern generation, single parenthood is not a taboo anymore.

In the United States alone, it is estimated that more and more single parents are emerging and the number is consistently rising as time goes by. Single parenthood is becoming a popular life style among adults.

What is more concerning is the obvious and logical fact that because teen age pregnancies and unwanted pregnancies are occurring in the country, the young people are bugged and burdened by the single parenthood.

The alarming situation has prompted the rise and proliferation of single parenthood issues not just in the United States but in the whole world.

There are more and more single parents enrolled in college nowadays. Single parents enrolled in college are becoming a concern for parents, people and the government moreover.

Single parents and the challenges

For single parents enrolled in college, the situation s really a cause for alarm. That is because college life is generally not an easy life. With the time constraints and the issues arising from academic performance and requirements, college students who are also single parents are subjected to many and different forms of pressure.

For one, the pressure brought about by the society on single parents enrolled in college are pressuring above all. Single parenting in those situations is becoming more of a burden or some sort of punishment.

Society view single parents as uncaring and wild spirited individuals who do not intend or care to designate before finally giving in to the pleasure of sex. With the popularity and drive against pregnancies and STDs through contraceptives, it is logical to assert that single parents in college were not adequately oriented to the benefits of responsible sex.

Thus, single parents in college are perceived by colleagues and classmates as promiscuous and sex-starved individuals. It is a stigma not unique to single parents enrolled in college. Single parents in general strive to prove people wrong about the notion.

It is the first and basic dilemma among single parents enrolled in college.

Time management

Time management is another area where single parents enrolled n college are striving at. Because class schedules conflict with the time single parents should be allotting to their children this becomes a problematic area of concern.

It is very difficult to balance academic life and single parenthood together. For college students, time management is already a problem. What more if they are enrolled college students and at the same time, single parents. Time for single parents are already burdensome. To say the least.

Exams are making crams out of college students. Exams coinciding with say, regular physician check ups for the child, is a hell, for example.

Financial constraints

Financial constraints is one area where most single parents enrolled in college are striving and finding difficulty at. College requires more money for books, tuition fees and other expenses. Balancing finances between college needs and single parenting is very hard and pressuring.

This is how most single parents enrolled in college fail at. Thus, statistics have it that there is a significant rising number of single parents enrolled in college that resort to filing an adoption.

Single parents enrolled in college are somehow forced to find surrogate or adoptive parents for their child, parents who can give out all the comforts and necessities needed by a growing child.

There are government aids and financial support that are extended to single parents. However, most single parents in college can not take that either because of non awareness, or because they cold not qualify to be eligible for such government financial support.

Understanding the Psychological Well Being of Single Parents

Probably the hardest thing to face as a single parent is the intense emotion linked with being both a mother and a father to a child. This is further magnified when the other parent is absent or is deliberately not doing anything to fulfill his part in the caring for the children. More often than not, the single parent's psychological well being bogs down.

Single parents might try to cope with this strain by either trying to compensate by adopting both mom and dad roles, or by scouring the social scene for a partner to help him or her in the rearing of the child. The pressure is definitely high.

However, if truth be told, none of the two methods will help. If anything, they might even cause you to become more psychologically stressed.

Majority of single parents feel guilty for the absence of the other parent, often blaming themselves for the loss. This is especially complicated if the custodial parent is male and he has a daughter or three daughters, making it difficult for him to portray motherly duties.

Chances are, he will go on wild hunting trip to look for somebody to fill the position, which, more often than not, particularly for those who go out to just look for a replacement parent, ends up in vain.

To cope with the other parent's absence, you must first acknowledge and admit that nobody will ever replace your child's mom or dad. Sure, somebody nice and appropriate could come along, but if you make this search your daily goal, then you might as well be driving you and children to loony house.

While finding someone to fill the spot addresses a big need, this should not be your sole purpose in life. Always remember that your children need YOU to care for them, and do not just see you as a nanny or private eye tasked to find them a good parent.

Instead, focus on what you can give your kids, even without a partner. Being a single parent is not a sin. Nor is it a reason for you to go on guilt trips every single day. You should even be proud that you have successfully reared your kid or kids on your own, and prouder that they have you. Whether or not you find a new spouse or partner, your children will still be happy to have you with them.

Always keep in mind that you are only human and cannot do everything at once. Not always being a hero to your kids does not make you less of a person. Remember, what does not kill you will only make you stronger.

Capitalize on the relationship you currently have with your kids and improve on that, instead of just dwelling on the fact that you're alone and don't have a partner.

Kids today are more resilient and understanding than we give them credit for, so never underestimate their power to understand your limitations. Be honest about your feelings and they will be honest with theirs, as well. You could be pleasantly surprised with their responses.

You would probably think that as a single parent, you could do what has to be done all on your own. You feel that you have what it takes to be a good single parent.

Hopefully, you are not one of those who assume that they are in the lineage of super heroes, handling every weight on their shoulders. You would get yourself busy on all sides with the different activities that can show your kids that you, as a new family, can handle it on your own.

But has it ever occurred to you that it might not be all about your relationship with your kids? Yes it is primarily about that, but can you do so without financial help?

Financial complications usually come up when households of single parents try to have college education covered. This is where you realize that you need aid after all, financial aid.

There are certain policies in having financial aid determined for single parents, like you if ever you are one, that are deemed to be highly confusing at times. This article would gladly give you an overview of the process.

In case you do not know, the custodial parent is the one with whom the child, specifically a student, has lived the most in the span of the twelve months that have already passed.

If the student admits that he or she did not live with a certain parent more than the other parent, then his or her parent who has provided msot of the financial support in the past twelve months will be the one to fill out the fafsa.

Another situation would be if the student got to live with each of his or her parents with the equal amount of time and also if the parents provided an equal level of assistance, in terms of finances, then the parent who will claim the student for purposes of income tax should be the one to do the filling out of the fafsa.

You must never forget that any child support or any alimony that has been received from a non-custodial parent must alwas be included on the fafsa.

It might be a bit too late to say this, since this article has been mentioning it for quite some time now. Fafsa actually is an acronym for free application for federal student aid. Now you know, so you can stop creasing your forehead in wonder everytime you read the acronym fafsa.

The federal government does not put the income or the assets of a non-custodial parent to consideration, especially when the student’s financial need is being determined.

Just in case you do not know, many private colleges take into account the assets and income of the non-custodial parent, even if he or she does not want to be included in contributing to college costs.

These said colleges would ask for a supplemental financial aid form from a non-custodial parent. This said financial aid form does a whole lot in affecting the awarding of the aid of the school, however, it is neither federal nor state.

Still, there are special cases wherein a number of private collges will waive the requirements for non-custodial information. There is, however, a criterion that has to be met so that a certain single parent household will not be automatically qualified for a waiver.

First, the non-custodial parent should not be found nor located. So this would only make it eventual that that certain parent has not made any form of child support payment recently, and it is also an indication that that parent has not been consistent in his or her child support payments.

Next, if the separation or the divorce has happened in tha past of the past, which means it was really a long time ago, then it is highly reasonable to expect a provision from that non-custodial parent.

And lastly, if the said non-custodial parent has a history of neglect or of abuse either with the child or with the other parent.

Court records will be used for documentation for the said criteria. Hopefully, it is now clear to you that the criteria must be documented first so that there will be a waiver for the information regarding the non-custodial parent.